Kit’s Revenge
by Kit-the misfit-Cat
Summary: Look it here! A Spankin' New Chapter (11). THE ARM Returns!!! Please R&R. Not for Phoebe Lovers.
1. Phoebe Started It

Kit starring in

Kit's Revenge 

Originally Kit's Revenge and Explanation for Leaving the Halliwells but it's too damn long oh well

A/N: Setting late 3rd season. I blame the not so 'Charmed' writers for changing Kit's gender when ever the feel like it. So Kit is referred as her. Damn K*rn lay off the Drugs!

A/N: It's meant to be funny so Laugh. Oh do not be offended Alyssa fans it's in the name of Humor!

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IMPORTANT A/N: I got tried of referring to Kit as IT so I gave her a SEX CHANGE so now Kit's a girl. Now my head shouldn't hurt. 

Kit was a lovely cat. Kit loved her owners but her had hers two favorites Prue and Piper. Kit hated Phoebe ever since Phoebe sat on her while she was sleeping on the couch. Kit's struggled for air. Meanwhile it took Phoebe five minutes for her brain to send signals that her lazy ass should moved. The lack of oxygen made Kit semi crazy and biter. So biter that Kit ever since that horrific day Kit has been debating if her was worth living with the very extra 'special' Phoebe. But for the time being Kit sole purpose has to get Phoebe irritated. Kit vs. Phoebe or Brain vs. the 'special' one her was dub (by me). Kit kept score of who did what. For example Kit would accidentally crap under Phoebe's bed. Then Phoebe would accidentally step on Kit's tail. So far Kit out won Phoebe by 1,345,601 to 5. 

Then came the decision Kit was putting off whether or not to leave the manor. **Pro: **Piper and Prue, free food and a huge ass house and let's not forget how she like to mess with Phoebe. **Con: **Phoebe. Kit decided to stick it out until the sad day when Kit witnessed Prue die. A sad day it was indeed and she could not take Phoebe's selfish act. Being highly intelligent, Kit left Piper a note saying her goodbyes. On the letter was several paw prints that formed the words 'farewell'. Then Kit walk out of the Manor on her two back legs (that's right her two back legs) carrying her belongings. Kit hoped to go unnoticed for it was difficult enough as it was but Phoebe or the 'special' one saw Kit.

"Kit what are you doing?"

"Meow hiss Meow MEOW MEOW hiss HISS" Translation: Mother f-OPPS... well I can tell you this Kit has a mouth on her that's rated NC-17. You get the point lets carry on. So with that Kit stuck up her Middle claw (or nail) on each of her to front paws to Phoebe. And pick up hers belongings and slam the door.

I know what you're thinking where did Kit live all this time. Well Kit moved back in with her two siblings. The same night Kat, Kit's younger sister, read an incantation on her dead mothers favorite bowl. Together they became THE FURRY ONES. (Sound Familiar...thought so.) Now Kit along with hers sibling fight evil kitties that reek havoc on good loving owners. Each of the siblings gain three powers Kit has the power of scratching and the power of molecular manipulation. Kit's younger sister, Kat, has the power to crap and hack up hairballs. Kit's older sister, Korn, has the power to move things and release gas. 

One day the Furry Ones had to go back to Kit's old home to face off with Kit's arch enemy: the 'special' one AKA Phoebe. Apparently Phoebe has been kicking kittens again...Man does she ever learn? Oh well nothing has stop the Furry Ones before. Can Kit focus long enough to stop Phoebe from ever kicking kittens again or will Kit fall for her fear of being sat on again and make it personal?

Stay tuned...


	2. The Plan That Was

R&R 

A/N: Fugly is short for fuckin ugly. This takes place the beginning of the 4th season where Lyssie didn't have the fugly hair cut...yet. I own no one etc.

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Kaytee83: I don't know your web addy. And thanks for putting it, oh how should I say this..._not_ so gently that my spelling and grammar suck. Well thanks anyway someone had to do it. ;)

The Furry Ones staring in:

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The Plan That Was

Huddles outside in the back of the Halliwell manor are the furry ones. Kit's just telling her siblings about the former charmed ones... so she thought.

"Beware of Piper, especially if she has her bitch on." 

"Why" asked Korn.

" Well along with the power to freeze and the power to blow shit up... Piper is smart."

"Ok so it shouldn't be a problem to get by her."

"No you don't understand. She is truly smart. In fact she's smarter than the average witch. So Piper is not to know of our existence or the plan is ruined. And incase you nitwits foul up pretend your me and say you're visiting for a while. Now on to the 'special' one. They call her Phoebe. Don't waste time on worrying about her. Phoebe was given lame ass powers like Kat-"

"Hey!"

"You know its true!" Korn said. Never the one to miss an opportunity to annoy Kat. Korn found Kat irritating at times. Kind of like Prue found Phoebe irritating at times. *Sniff* Aw... the memories *pulls out the Kleenex*

"Would you two stop? The thing to be very cautious of when around Phoebe is her ass. She'll try to smother you with it. Trust me on this."

"I trust you so what's the plan?"

"First we send in Kat to make sure the coast is clear. When that's done we'll go in and make our way too Phoebe's room. Phoebe will be there because she'll be exercising her ass off. So Korn I'll need you to cut the cheese to knock out Phoebe. Once 'Sleepy Fugly' is asleep Kat you go under her bed and hack up lots of hairballs and crap everywhere. I better not see the floor when you're done."

"Ah Kit, wouldn't Phoebe want to kick kittens more because of what we're going to do to her?"

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***A Long Ass Silence*** Kit hasn't thought of that. The only thing she can think of is 'why the spoon ran away with the fork' and 'why the cow jump over the moon.' 'Focus Kit!' she tells herself. Then Korn hits her still waiting for her response.

"No.no she wouldn't. Instead 'special' would have a fear of cats once I get through with her."

"So Kit what do you plan to do with Phoebe?" Korn ask intrigued.

"I plan to give her-" Suddenly a herd of sheep run pass the furry trio making it difficult to hear what Kit's saying. WTF!!! Great loose sheep in San Fran just what the freakin' doctor ordered. Hopefully they will hit no one. We have enough of those drunken sheep accident's here in the states. Back to the discussion.

"That's brilliant!" Kat concluded.

"So how are we to get in the house?"

"Through the door, silly" Kit replied.

"Argh you idiot I know that! Which door?" Korn hissed.

"The back door."

"Hey guys the door is open and I see no one in the kitchen." Kat replied running full speed towards the back entry.

"Oh no... KAT THEY HAVE A SECOND DOOR MADE OUT OF GLASS!" Kit yelled.

"What!" Kat said. It was too late to stop because she had gained so much momentum that she made her own personal entryway. Kat flew and she would have kept going if it weren't for that wall. As soon as Kat hit smack dab on the wall. Kat slowly slides down to the floor. It would be seconds now before the Halliwells would come in. Meanwhile Korn was rolling around in the grass laughing at Kat's expense. Korn had one paw on her belly and the other one pointing at the new entryway. Kit was literally pulling her hair out of her head. If Piper finds out what happen to her kitchen door...

"Shit Korn we need to get Kat before Piper makes her for dinner!"

"I doubt if Piper will find Kat tasty."

"I can't be-"

"Oh hello Kitty!"

"Oh no Phoebe has her. It's too late she's a goner." Kit said knowing the torment Kat will go through.

"Too bad. Hey look Felix is naked!"

"Korn I thought I told you to leave the porn mag at home."

"Well unlike you I knew Kat would do something stupid so I came prepared."

"You call looking at Felix-the-cat prepared! Incase you didn't know Felix was always naked and so are we!"

"Too much info buddy."

"I'm going to get Kat...come on your coming with me." Korn reluctantly follows Kit but keeps looking at Felix's...er, _'equipment'_.

Will Kat meet Phoebe's ass? Why are cats always naked? Where was Piper? Will Korn ever stop looking at Felix's equipment? What will Kit do when she finds out about Paige?

Most importantly, why did 'the spoon run away with the fork' and 'the cow jump over the moon'?

Stay Tuned... 


	3. The Phoebe Gun 500

A/N: R&R. Ideas are appreciated. Oh, I invented "Phoebe Gun 500" I know what you're thinking but all will be revealed... 

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A/N: Do not harm pets. They are loving beings that do not deserve cruelty. Especially don't do what you read here to your pet or animals. I don't want PETA or the other PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) on my ass. 

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So Love Thy Animal! :)

Disclaimer: Don't own Charmed. Don't own anything. Etc.

Setting: Early season four. 

The Furry Ones staring in:

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The Phoebe Gun 500 

Kit and Korn are in the Halliwell manor slowly but surely making their way to Phoebe's room. Kit is taking precautions not to disturb or attract attention from Piper. That soon became unimportant when Korn and Kit heard stuff from Piper's room. Let's just say Piper's having a blast with Leo. Moving on _quickly_ passing Piper's room to Prue's room *Sniff*. 

"Korn um lets rest a bit and head to Prue's room."

"Why?"

"Well I remember Prue used to talk to me about her prized possession, besides her camera. Prue called it The Phoebe Gun 500. Prue said to use in a case of dire emergency. " 

Kit and Korn entered Prue's room only to find paintings and art equipment. Kit was shocked to see the room looked different.

"What the fuck?"

"What's wrong Kit?"

"..." Kit was shocked.

"What is it Kit? Human caught your tongue?"

"They change Prue's room. I guess someone's living here. Come on, hopefully no one found The Phoebe Gun 500."

"Wait a minute, Piper doesn't know of The Phoebe Gun 500?"

"No Prue knew Piper would take the Phoebe gun away from her. Prue only told me because she thought I was an average cat. Nothing more but the witches loyal familiar."

"Does Piper like Phoebe?" Korn asked.

"No, she only puts up with her. Piper has the amazing ability of patience and tolerance when it comes to Phoebe. Most importantly Piper can reason with the beast."

"Why do you think Phoebe listens to Piper?"

" Honestly I don't know but we need to get The Phoebe Gun 500 soon. Who knows what Phoebe's doing to Kat right now."

"Kat, her name sounds familiar... Kat-"

"She's your youngest sister Korn!" 

Meanwhile at Phoebe's room.

Phoebe is playing dress up with Kat. Poor kitty. Anyway Kat is displaying a lovely mustache, and a crew cut along with bright neon pink shorts and a bright neon orange top to go with. Kat is also wearing socks with sandals. *Oh the horror* Phoebe being Phoebe is in her usually wear if you call what she wears clothes. Now Phoebe just got bored and decide to play a game call 'Toss the Kitty.'

"Ok, Kit-number-two up you go" Phoebe tosses Kat in the air at full force. Kat hit's the ceiling she desperately hopes for lighting to strike to end her misery. Kat falling back down moving her four legs in the air. Phoebe fails to catch Kat so Kat falls with a loud thud. Well look at that cats do land on their feet! 

"Good Kit-number-two up you go again!" Phoebe tosses Kat in the air. But Kat clings on to the ceiling upside down holding on for dear life. 

"Oh Kit-number-two you're such a silly cat. Don't worry I'll save you!"

"Oh shit" Kat mutters. Kat sees Phoebe going for a broom. Suddenly the game change from 'Toss the Kitty' to 'Whack the Cat.' Kat looks like a sad alternative for a piñata right about now. 

__

Thwack Pow Pop Thwack 

Well at least Kat's taking this cruelty like a Cat. Phoebe on the other hand is getting quite upset that 'Kit-number-two' doesn't come down. Phoebe is acting like child crossed between a running chicken with is head chop off. Hard to imagine I know but I'm sure the headless moving chicken is offended that I just compared her to Phoebe. Sorry chickadee.

Back at Prue's former room.

"Ha the Phoebe Gun 500 is still in the same place." Kit states.

"Prue tape to the wall! I'm amazed no one noticed this!" Korn exclaims bewilder.

"Well not a lot people notice such small details like decoration on the walls. Except for the person who owns them or if people were pointed out to them before hand. Or unless you're super smart." 

"What about Piper?"

"Well Piper hasn't been to the room in the longest time since she and Prue switch rooms. If Piper had been here she was probably consumed by grief to notice. Whoever lives here now might of notice but never bother to touch it." 

"So get the Phoebe Gun 500 before Kat learns new things from Phoebe."

"Drat Korn I forgot that the guns too heavy. We're going to have to carry it together."

"Damn cops giving me a ticket! " An unknown voice booms.

Startled Kit and Korn turns around to see a very pale woman with red lipstick on laying on her bed starring aimlessly at the ceiling.

Kit and Korn are in a predicament, incase you haven't notice.

That's all for now. 

Next Chapter: 

Was That Snow White?


	4. Was That Snow White?

A/N: A certain Disney character will not show up. It's just a reference to Paige's paleness. I do like Paige so no Paige hating here, sorry folks. ;) BTW unlike the gender confused Kit I'm a girl. 

A/N: If any want to chat with me for the 'Feebee' hating then email me at aidkit10@hotmail.com 

(I'm not 10 years old it's just my lucky soccer number.)

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Setting: After researching and trying to pin point where Paige finally realize that Piper was better than 'special' this story takes place after _Black As Cole_. If I get it wrong then pretend its right for the sake of this story. So the Fury ones came in after _Black As Cole. _

The Furry Ones (minus Kat) staring in:

Was That Snow White? *Yeah a Paige Episode!!!* 

Paige turns her head looking at the fury duo, noticing them for the first time. Then Paige turns back to look at the ceiling. Paige puts her index finger on her chin with her thumb underneath. She starts moving her index finger unknowingly as she thinks. 

'If I turn my head I won't see two cats.'Paige turns her head once again and sees the fury duo. 'Damn I said I wasn't going to see two cats. Oh what the hell.' Paige looks them up and down. Korn and Kit do the same thing also. Korn was about gas Paige until Kit stops her. Kit told Korn she was curious to talk to her. Paige was flabbergasted as she saw two kitties standing upright communicating in her room of all places. 

"Um I take it you two are magical cats."

"That's correct" Kit went on "Who are you?"

"I should be the one asking that question."

"I'm Kit; this is my older sister Korn. I used to live with the former charmed ones." 

"And you're here because?"

"Phoebe has been kicking kittens and she has my younger sister Kat. 'Special' I mean Phoebe is my archenemy. Now it's my turn, who are you?"

"I'm Paige the long lost sister of the former charmed ones. Now with me here I complete the power of three."

"Ok lets cut the small talk and get to the point. Are you going to stop us from kicking Phoebe's ass?"

"If anything I'll help you!"

"Wait a minute. You don't like Phoebe also" Korn asks.

"I plea the fifth. I can say for the record that I like Piper a thousands times better." Paige states. Korn signals to Kit to talk to her under Paige's bed.

"Excuse us Paige for a minute."

"Sure." 

Once underneath the bed. Korn is quite confused with the whole situation revolving around the Halliwell sisters. 

"Kit you're the middle sister and you keep peace between Kat and me right?"

"Right." 

"So shouldn't Piper and Paige be fighting against each other not Paige and Phoebe? I mean, since Phoebe is the middle child now, she should be helping Piper and Paige get through their fights. RIGHT?! " 

"Wrong. I'm guessing things were like that in the beginning but maybe Paige found her senses. Or maybe a guy called Br*d Kern thinks the viewers of a certain show are idiots and try to pull off the same formula. Prue fighting with Phoebe and Piper the buffer. Now Paige likes Piper and Phoebe fights with Paige."

"I can't wait to meet this Phoebe."

"Trust me you better off not knowing her." Kit and Korn step out underneath the bed.

"So what's your problem with Phoebe," Paige asks.

"I have none except she sat on Kit for five whole minutes. My poor sister smelled her ass. Kit's traumatized to this day," Korn answers.

"You poor thing." Paige gets up and pats Kit's head. 

"I'll live. Look the reason we're here is because we are the furry ones.

"Furry ones?"

"Yes, Kat, Korn and I are the Furry Ones. We have magical powers and our propose is to stop evil kitties and people who harm cats. No doubt Phoebe has been hurting kittens. Now she has Kat."

"Ok. Then may I ask what are you guys doing here? Shouldn't you be in Phoebe's room?"

"We're here for The Phoebe Gun 500, Prue made it and left it here tape to the wall. Korn and I were just about to take it when you came in."

"This is too good to be true" says Paige with an ear to ear smile.

"So you're not going to stop us?"

"No unless I get to carry the gun, Kit."

"Fine Paige. _Plan Annihilate Phoebe _is in order."

"I have the Phoebe Gun 500 Kit."

"Korn how did you-"

"I can move shit remember! I was about to tell you that before Paige came here."

"Silly me I forgot about that power."

"You forget a lot of things!"

"Shush Korn" Kit put her paw over Korn's mouth. Korn being a feisty cat that takes no crap does the unthinkable: She slobbers on Kit's paw. Kit jumps and lands on Paige's head.

"Yuck you SICKO!!" Kit hisses. Paige is trying to stifle her laughter. It's humorous to her that two cats can act so much like people.

"Here you go Paige. Handle it with care its the only way to stop the beast." Korn says as she TK's it to Paige. Paige eagerly takes the Phoebe Gun 500.

"Wow it heavy. So what's the plan to stop my sister?"

"The plan right... Plan Annihilate Phoebe ...um the plan well" Kit struggles.

"You guys have not an idea do you?"

"We had a brilliant plan until Kat screwed it up by running through the glass door. So to answer your question: no."

"Well you guys can crash in my room. And when we're going to get Phoebe we're going to get her good.

"But what about Kat Phoebe has her" Kit exclaims.

"Phoebe is not going to kill her. Phoebe cried for weeks when she saw Bambi for the very first time."

"Kit, Kat is going to be fine. If Phoebe messes with her than we'll kick her ass more. Besides Kat has a hollow head and a thick skull. Nothing important in there." Korn assures.

Next Chapter: 

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Nothing Like the Smell of Ass in the Morning.


	5. Nothing Like the Smell of Ass in the Mor...

A/N: Beware of ASS. That's all. New words: Pheobenator 

Setting: *One two skip a few [episodes]* Takes place right after _Charmed and Dangerous._

The Furry Ones staring in:

Nothing Like the Smell of Ass in the Morning.

After weeks in crashing in Paige's room, Kit, Korn and Paige had devised a plan that will stop Phoebe from hurting kittens again. Kat, the poor little sucker, was occupied with Phoebe. To Kit's surprise Kat isn't dead yet. Maybe Korn was right about Kat's hollow head. Anyway Paige has kept an eye on Phoebe and has warned her not to harm 'Kit-number-two.'

"Kick ass plan Paige"

"Well I try my best"

"Really brilliant plan Paige. I can't wait to put it into action" Kit says with the up most enthusiasm. 

"Kit, Korn we're going to have to wait on the plan. It's best we come up with something on the mean time just for fun."

"And that would be" Korn questions moving behind Kit knowing very well what Paige is about to say.

"Um how 'bout getting Kat back," Paige suddenly sees the look on Korn face, the look that says 'do-you-really-want-me-kick-your-ass. Paige quickly tries to cover up.

"You know what's better you guys um making Phoebe look horrendous!"

"Do we really need to? I think she already is-"

"I like it," Korn says.

"Uh look majority rules"

"Ok"

Meanwhile back at Phoebe Land 'Kit-number-two' is being talk to death by the Pheobenator. 

"I love Cole. He is really special."

"FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD STOP!!!!" Phoebe just thinks nothing of it because as far as she can tell 'Kit-number-two' is an ordinary cat that meows a lot.

Suddenly there's a knock on the door. 

"Closed" Pheobenator shouts. Paige enters and then quickly retreats outside. Paige has been blinded by the Pheobenator. Apparently Phoebe was in the bent over position maybe she was expecting Cole.

"Phoebe it's Paige and by the way don't you mean 'open'."

"Open as in what?"

"As in the door is open you nitwit."

"Yes ... unless you have something tacky or shinny with you then I suggest you leave."

"Phoebe remember the last time I gave you something shinny?"

"No," Phoebe looks down and moves her left foot in an imaginary circle on the carpet.

"I think you do Phoebe. Remember how you kept bitching the entire day because you put the shinny metal object in the socket. It didn't feel good to be electrocuted did it?"

"It wasn't my fault."

"Ok calm down the last thing I need for you to do is throw a tantrum. I came here to see Kat"

"Who"

"Kit-number-two."

"Fine she's under my bed."

"Why is she.. Argh never mind" Paige looks under the bed to see a very frighten and very naked cat. Really naked as in no fur kind of naked. Yesh poor sucker. 

"Phoebe what did you do to her!"

"I gave her a waxing job. Isn't she pretty!"

"That's it I'm taking here with me."

"No you can't do that. She's mine. I found her."

"I can and I will and don't think I will not bring Piper into this."

"No not Piper. She'll put me in the cage for time out."

"Well Phoebe I'll be leaving now say good bye to Kit-number-two."

"Bye-bye Kit-number-two"

"Good riddance" Kat says.

"Did she just talk?"

"No it was I Phoebe," Paige leaves and closes the door carrying the very naked Kat.

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Morning in Halliwell manor the charmed ones are enjoying a breakfasts credits to Chef Piper.

"What is that smell" Piper asks.

"Oh that just Phoebe" Paige states.

"Hey!"

"It's true and you know it. Sicko!"

"Paige that is no way to talk to Phoebe let me show you the correct way." Piper turns to Phoebe and says "what are you waiting for? Take a freakin' shower already. You disgust me." Phoebe runs out and heads up the stairs to the shower.

"Oh Cool Piper you made Phoebe feel guilty for the first time!"

"Well Paige you always have to show who's boss!"

A/N: Crapola in a bowl. I know but hey it made me laugh!

Next Chapter: 

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Scissor Hands 


	6. Scissor Hands

A/N: I know you guys want Phoebe killed already but wait. When she gets **whacked** it's going to be good. We finally get to know the truth on how Phoebe got that fugly hair cut. Oh thanks for the inspiration Tim Burton. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing! 

Terminology: Fugly is fuckin' ugly. Phoebanator is every ones worst nightmare. 

The Furry Ones staring in:

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Scissor Hands 

After Kit and Korn found out what had happen too poor Kat they were furious. Well not so furious at first, Kit and Korn were laughing their asses of. After two hours of laughing Kit became furious at Phoebe because she did this to her little sister. Korn on the other hand went to the store with Paige and bought a digital camera. Korn had taken a few photos of Kat. With the help of Paige Korn hopes to put in on the cat porn website because we all know there is a huge market out there for kitty porn. Anyhow Korn had heard that _Pussy Cats 'R' Us _to be the one web site to post them at. Luckily Kit doesn't know about it. 

After Korn and Paige came from the store Kit told Paige if she could make Kat some clothes.

"Sure thing Kit." 

"Thanks Paige, make sure its something dark."

"Ok" Paige left the room to get some materials.

"Kit I know that you want to get Phoebe back but we have to wait."

"I can't wait Korn. I think we waited long enough. Look at Kat she is traumatized."

"Ok fines if you must do something then do it on your own. I'm waiting until Paige says the plan that WE all agreed to be is in play."

"Fine I don't need your help only Paige's."

"Don't come crying back to me if Phoebe's ass smothers you." The door is opened and Paige comes out holding her materials in her hand.

"Hey guys what are you talking about?"

"Oh nothing really important just that Kit there wants to make Phoebe pay now instead of waiting for the right moment."

"Kit you know you can't go get your revenge now. We have to kill her when the right time comes. What fun would it be if we use the Phoebe Gun 500 on her now?"

"Not good. Fine I won't kill her but remember you guys were in favor of doing something in the meantime. What happen to making Phoebe looking even more horrendous?"

"Korn she does bring a good point after all we did agree," Paige reasons.

"Not all of us," Kat says.

"Of course we didn't include you not after you ruined the first plan," Korn hisses then continues "fine." 

"Ok Paige I need you to say a spell that makes my claws become scissors. Then once you do that you can get back to making clothes for Kat."

"Fine just give me a minute to make up a spell."

"Korn I need you come with me after Paige says the spell. I need you to gas Phoebe and be look out."

"Right Kit."

"Got the spell."

"Great I'm ready." Paige grabs three candles and forms a triangle on the floor. She motions for Kit to get in the middle of the triangle. Once Paige is finished lighting up the candle she begin to chant.

Let this furry one taste revenge 

On the evil that bitches to no end

Help her right this huge ass wrong

And give her a catchy kick ass song

Allow the power of a crafty wizard

Make her claws turn to sharp pointy scissors 

"Did it work," Korn asks. Suddenly we hear a song boom in the background [*Sing Along*]:

2, 4, 6, 8 who does Kit really hate? It's 'Phoebe'! 'Phoebe'! IT'S 'PHOEBE'!!! 

Nevertheless after the song we hear a huge ass applause. *Wow that many of you dislike Phoebe! * 

Suddenly Kit's claws begin to change to barber shop scissors.

"It works!"

"Thanks you Paige I really owe you."

"No problem. Letting me kill Phoebe is all a person really needs." 

"Come on Korn let's go." 

***

The furry duo is in front of Phoebanator's door.

"You know what you're going to do Korn right?"

"Yeah I fart and keep look out."

"Good now go in there." Korn enters and we hear a loud thud followed by Korn yelling out 'TIMBER'. 

"Korn you're no lumberjack! Hurry up!"

"One can dream right," Korn says defensively. Kit shakes her head. 

"Just stay hear big sis. If I'm not hear in ten minutes send PETA."

"Ok now in you go," Korn shoves Kit through the door. 

***

Now in Phoebe's ass smelling room we find our hero, Kit, going over to Phoebe. Phoebe is lying on her back and was about to put on her face, literary. Apparently she has a second skin. Come to think of it maybe she uses her second skin as an alternative for make up. *Man, either theory scares the shit out of Kit and me, the author of this Anti-Phoebe story. * So back to the plot.

Once Kit is by Phoebe she has to resist the urge to finish Phoebe off once for good. But no Kit has to get pay pack for her sister Kat the furless one. 

Kit starts sharpening her scissors/claws. Suddenly we hear monk music. The really scary monk music that people use in moves like _The Omen_. Now Kit begins to chop away at Phoebe's Hair.

Chop, snip, cut, PULL, snip, snap, chop some more. Pull even more. 

Finally the music is over and Kit's scissor hands are tried and start cramping up. Then after a while of marveling at her handy work Kit's claws turn to normal. Phoebe starts to stir and Kit runs the hell out of there. Quickly Kit stops running when she notices the door is closed. Kit yells desperately for Korn to open the door. 

'Mayday Mayday the Phoebanator's is getting up run for cover' Kit's brain signals to her body. 

"Shit Korn Open the Door Please"

'Mayday the Phoebanator is getting up. Run for cover now!!!' Kit's brain is signaling at a rushed pace.

"Korn I let you beat the shit out of Kat please open the door."

'Run for cover you dip shit she's coming' Kit's brain finally tells her.

"Ok," Korn opens the door and Kit runs out of there. Korn follows Kit to Paige's room.

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"I did it Paige! I gave her the ugliest haircut on earth."

"Oh I got to see this" Paige gets up to pay Phoebe a visit.

Meanwhile, Phoebe feels something is wrong. She's thinking she must hit her head harder than she thought because she just saw a cat run out of her room. With this feeling Phoebe goes to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. We hear a bloodcurdling scream and with that Paige runs into the room.

"My FACE! MY FACE! I forgot to put on my face." Phoebe yells.

"AAAAAHHhhhhh! I found you face put it on quickly!" 

"Thanks Paige." Phoebe puts her face back on.

"Uh Phoebe have you look in the mirror lately," Paige says starting to laugh.

"Yes all the time. Why why are you laughing at me?"

"Look in the mirror and you see." Phoebe goes to the mirrors.

"Wow since when did I get this haircut. It's fabulous Paige."

"What the Fuck?" *Same here Paige* Paige thinks it's horrible like the rest of the world.

"What Paige you don't know how much this style costs at the salon."

"What a quart- well look at the time I got to go" Paige scurries of.

__

'Unbelievable poor Kit. When I tell her she's going to flip.' 

Next Chapter: 

****

Cry Me A River 


	7. Cry Me A River

Disclaimer: I don't not own Charmed or the Gilligan's Island theme song. Etc. 

A/N to the Readers: 

*Bravo Buffy_Angelus Bravo thanks a lot! 

*Thanks for reviewing me Drama Queen, buddy. ;)

Important A/N: For the sake of this song Leo has a middle name coincidently its Gilligan! Piper is the female version of the skipper, because she knows how to steer her own boat. She is the one in charge and is the glue of the whole posse. Leo "Gilligan" Wyatt is Piper's Bitch. Cole is the millionaire because he's a bum and the source, so his ass could afford it. He has a bum wife, Phoebenator. Paige is the movie star in disguise; the assistant social worker is a cover up. Darryl is the Professor on his days of from being a detective. Darryl brought along his little sister Whitney "Mary Ann" Morris. The Furry ones are secretly hidden in one of Paige's empty art equipment cases.

Setting: After Cole becomes the source and we hit the climax of the Cole/Phoebe crapfest of season four.

The Furry Ones staring in:

Cry Me A River

Piper and Paige planed a family trip to take a cruise on the Pacific. They planed to set sail on a part of the Pacific called Cry Me A River. This part is known for its reputation of being THE place to dispose a body. Paige, Korn and Kit being the little devils they are plan to give Phoebe the ol' push of the boat. Kit convinced both Paige and Korn it was best because she wanted to know if Phoebe would float or sink to the bottom. The other reason is Kit is still a bit upset that Phoebe loves her hair cut. 

SO without further a due: 

***

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,

a tale of a fateful trip.

That started from this tropic port,

aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailin' man,

the skipper brave and sure.

Five passengers set sail that day,

for a three hour tour, a three hour tour………

***

Five minutes into to the cruise Cole and Phoebe could no longer resist each other so they went below deck to take care of 'business'. Leo's steering the boat after listening to the Skipper's (Piper) directions. Meanwhile Paige, Piper Darryl and Whitney were playing a game of poker whilst swapping their "Phoebe Moment" stories. Incase you don't know what a 'Phoebe moment' is; well it's when you do something stupid or answer a question stupidly.

"So my favorite 'Phoebe moment' is when I accidentally ran headfirst into that street light. I mean man, I didn't see it coming," says Paige only to continue "but I was drunk at the time."

"Ah yes Paige I fully understand and you were also in college right," question Piper. Piper looked at her cards and was happy to have full house. 

"Yep." 

"I remember my college years, all too well"

"Really Piper what were you like in college," both Darryl and Paige questions.

"Well-" suddenly there's a BOOM soon followed by the downpour of rain. The tinny ship is rocking violently as the wind picks up speed. Piper pushes Leo out of the way and takes control to steer the boat to safety. 

Quickly Piper gives orders to the rest of the people except to Phoebe and Cole whom are below deck. Paige went to the fury ones to see how they were holding up. Korn and Kat were about to kill each other and Kit was trying desperately to stop them. Korn had Kat in a headlock and kept asking Kat to say "monkey's uncle." Korn puts an end to her hold on Kat when Paige asks:

"Why are you two fighting in the middle of the storm?"

"That's what I said Paige but they wouldn't listen to me."

"I'm fighting with Kat because she used me porn mag to take a leak on. You have no idea how hard it's to find Felix naked these days!"

"Korn, Felix was always naked. Kat why did you use Korn um reading material?" 

"I didn't mean to but it was there and I was there and I really needed to go. I'm sorry Korn." *Heart warming isn't it? *

"Bull shit you always say you're sorry," exclaims Korn. 

"Look you guys will handle this later when we're not in the middle of the storm," says Paige. Then she closes the case and takes it with her.

Then there was an explosion followed by Piper yelling to others "Hold on to something!"

***

The weather started getting rough,

the tiny ship was tossed.

If not for the courage of the fearless crew,

the Minnow would be lost; the Minnow would be lost.

The ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,

with Gilligan, the Skipper too,

the Millionaire, and his Wife,

the Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Ann,

here on Gilligan's Isle.

***

After being tossed on to land the better of the posse huddle together. 

"Why are we naming it Gilligan's Island," Paige asks.

"Because Leo Gilligan Wyatt here, stepped on the land first to make sure there weren't any people eating animals. How else are we suppose to know the island is safe with out having my monkey boy here check it out." 

"Good point Piper. Do any of you think it's odd that we have unknown island miles away from San Francisco?"

"Not really. Islands can form out of the water. Have you ever seen the Magic School Bus before," question the Professor AKA Darryl.

"No I haven't seen the children's show, sorry Darryl. Anyway where the hell is Cole and Phoebe?"

"Don't know but let's not jinx the moment of peace. I'm sure Cole and Phoebe are fine," states Piper.

***

So this is the tale of our castaways,

They're here for a long, long time.

They'll have to make the best of things,

it's an uphill climb.

***

To the other side of the island.

"Cole I don't want to stay here. I want to go home and wash my lovely hair."

"Shouldn't you be worried for your sisters and the rest of the group?"

"I ought to show some sort of concern for my siblings but I'll end up screwing them over... even more than I already do. Especially if they obtain a method to flee this area."

*Wait a minute Phoebe of all people just used what our dear 'special' calls "big people words." Something isn't right. Hold on. *

"Shouldn't you be worried for you sisters and the rest of the group?"

"Screw 'em," Phoebe says rather coldly. *Aw yes that's the Phoebe we all know and hate. *

***

The first mate and his skipper too,

will do their very best,

to make the others comfortable,

in the tropic island nest.

No phones, no lights, no motor cars,

not a single luxury.

Like Robinson Crusoe,

it's primitive as can be.

Well so this is Phoebe's version of hell! Not bad.

***

"Good point. Phoebe sweetie I want you to close you eyes ok." Phoebe not understanding a simple task sticks two fingers in her nose.

"Um here let me close your eyes." Cole puts his hand over Phoebe's eyes and shimmers out of there to the manor.

Outside the Manor. Phoebe (still with two fingers up her nose) and Cole climb up the stairs.

"Cole how'd we get to the outside of the manor?"

"The tooth fairy gave us a lift here."

"Really I want to meet her!"

***

So join us here each week my friend,

you're sure to get a smile.

From seven stranded Castaways,

Here on Gilligan's Isle.

Yeah Right. There's not enough continuity in the world to let them stay.

***

Back to Gilligan's Island.

"Leo can I talk to you for a sec. under the coconut tree?"

"Sure Piper." Leo follows Piper and in a hush tone ask her what's wrong.

"Leo I want to get out of here so orb us home."

"Piper we can't do that Darryl sister is here."

"Look use the memory dust ok. I can't stay here."

***

When Leo went after Piper, Paige took the opportunity to head the other way to use this time to talk to the Fury ones. Leaving Darryl and Whitney to use their cell phones to dispatch for help.

Once Paige is out of sight she opens the case and sees Korn in the right corner and Kat all mangled up in the left with Kit tending to her wounds. 

"Kit what happened to Kat?"

"Kat had an ass kicking by Korn. I give Kat a day before she's good as new."

"You ok kitty;" Paige pets Kat on the head.

"Um Paige why are we here? Were the hell is special it's the perfect time to whack her."

"I don't know where phoebe is or why were still here. If you want I'll orb you home let just tell Piper-"

"About us!?"

"No Kit. I tell her about the orbing part. It' not like were going to stay here doing wacky and ridiculous things."

"Ok go but I have a feeling Piper beat you to the punch." Paige closes the case and heads back to the direction.

Soon she saw Piper and the very pitiful Leo. Appears to be Leo had a taste of Piper's mind. 

"What's up Piper."

"Were going home. Leo is going to orb Whitney and me. You are going to orb Darryl." 

"Wait a minute Piper what about Whitney? Do you think she'll tell our secret?"

"Leo going to dust her. Come on lets go."

"What about Phoebe?"

"Well according to Leo's radar the little runt found a way home."

"Piper I can't even begin to comprehend why Phoebe did that! Aren't you outrage?"

"I should be but I'm not going to waste my time anymore. Paige don't let Phoebe's actions get to you. You might pop a vein. So come on."

"Fine but I will not be held responsible for killing her," Paige says savoring her words, mainly the killing her part.

Watch next time as someone will gets whacked. Promise!


	8. Another Reason to Slaughter ‘Special’

A/N: Sorry for taking so long in posting this Craptacular chapter up. I blame school and 'Lyssie'. Why 'Lyssie' you ask well because I feel like blaming her. A-yup. 

A/N: Warning I get a little graphic in this craptacular chapter and someone does die. Please review: comments are appreciated. 

The furry ones in:

Another Reason to Slaughter 'Special'

When Piper and Paige and the rest of the better posse returned from Gilligan's Island Phoebe had hell to pay. But before that was to happen Leo used his special powder on Whitney. Darryl said his goodbyes for both him and Whitney and hopes to spend time under better circumstances. 

Once Darryl and Whitney left Leo had to leave to train a whitelighter but would be back shortly. When all that was over with Piper made Phoebe stand in the corner for five minutes as a time out. Then afterward Phoebe was sent to the basement and never to come out until she knew what zero plus zero equals. That ladies and gentlemen looks as though will never see Phoebe again.

In the Kitchen. 

"Piper why didn't you put her in the cage?"

"Paige oh you have so much to learn."

"Piper you're avoiding the question."

"There's a good reason because 'once upon a time' Phoebe thought the cage was 'kinky' and decide to call her buddies... if you get my drift"

"Ew loud and clear. How about we go shopping?"

" What about Phoebe-"

"Piper _Leo_ can watch her while you and me go out shopping. Please if I spend another moment with Phoebe I'll be left with no choice but to... never mind."

" I'll just let that slide Paige but fine I'll go," Piper gives in reluctantly but is thankful for the time away from watching the irresponsible Phoebe.

"Ah Paige do me a favor and wait here to keep an eye on the basement door."

"Piper I need to change too you know!" 

" I know but I just don't want Phoebe coming out before we leave. I she sees us she'll just tag along and make me pay for her crap." 

"Fine," Paige gives in. Piper leaves then. Paige waits a minute or so to go get the furry ones then comes back to the kitchen.

***

In the Basement. 

After unsuccessfully using her last brain cell Phoebe still didn't know what zero plus zero equals. 

"Screw it" Phoebe said giving up than only to burst in heaps of giggles when a very disgusting thought ran into her mind. 

"Who should I screw over?" Then Paige came to her head. Oh how Phoebe loved to blame Paige for things. 

"It's your fault Paige you ruined my wedding."

Or 

" Paige It's your fault you ruined my dress." Phoebe loved it more when she blames Paige in front of Piper, because after all everything had to be about Phoebe. 

So Phoebe crawled up the stairs because she forgot momentarily how to walk. Very slowly Phoebe opened the door. 

***

In the kitchen the furry ones stood on top of the table with their heads down while waiting for the rest of Paige's lecture to finish.

"Look I'm going to leave soon you guys. So Kat and Korn you are going to have to at least call a truce until I come back ok."

"Sure Paige," Korn and Kat echoed. Suddenly there's an ear wrenching sound. It sounds like a holler monkey. Oh sweet Jebus.

"My kitty!!! My kitty!!" Phoebe runs toward the furry ones. Kit, Korn and Kat all run in circles because they can't think straight. They panic since they don't know which cat 'special' is referring to. 

Kit and Kat both grab Korn and throw her at Phoebenator. The Phoenenator catches Korn in her left hand and stops from going after the remaining furry ones. Kit and Kat both not waiting to relive the time with 'special' head out of the kitchen to seek haven in the living room.

"My kitty I miss you so much." Instantly Kit and Kat feel extremely guilty for sacrificing their older sister. The currently cowardly duo looks on through the kitchen door on to of the living room couch.

"Paige" Kit and Kat scream but Paige is nowhere in sight. WTF!

The Phoebenator start shaking Korn in a very careless manner. Then Paige comes to the rescue with a state of the art chef's knife. Then the unexpected happens:

"You shall never have two arms again," screeches Paige as she chops Phoebe left arm off. * Don't worry kiddies Phoebe didn't feel a thing because she's too cold hearted. * Then the decapitated arm lets go of Korn as it fly's out of the Kitchen. Kit and Kat just look on shocked as they seen the whole thing unfold. 

Korn hits the floor and is knock out. Kit sees Korn current state and wants to go and help. Kit stops though as she sees the decapitated arm head towards Kat. 

In Slow Motion.

The arm is spinning, as it is just milliseconds away from hitting Kat. Kit takes off running and jumps in front of Kat to take the brunt of the impact. The arm tackles both Kit and Kat as they go falling backwards of the arm of the couch to the seat cushions. 

Kit and Kat are both knocked out but remarkably the flying deadly arm still has momentum. The arm continues on its destructive journey as it makes a U-turn and heads back to the kitchen.

Meanwhile Paige hits Phoebe in the head with a wooden chair. Phoebe doesn't go down. Paige hits Phoebe in the head with a metal chair. Still Phoebe doesn't go down. Paige gives up and starts to give Phoebe two black eyes. 

Phoebe doesn't fight back because she doesn't want to give any attention to Paige. Besides Phoebe is also thinking about how she's going to dress herself with one arm. 

Anyway the decapitated arm with the life of it's own, fly's back to Phoebe's direction. The arm then changes directions and stops to pick up a frying pan. Then the arm goes and hits Paige in the head knocking her out. Dropping the frying pan the deadly arm goes to Phoebe only to give her a good beating. I mean a really good hand slapping type of beating.

"Why are you hitting me," Phoebe asks.

The arm stops and thinks before it reply's. Then the arm speaks with the index through the pinky finger close together acting as the upper mouth and the thumb acting as the lower one.

" You took me for granted," the arm says continuing with " I'm just paying you back for sticking MY finger up your nose." 

"But they're my fingers too," the Phoebenator states.

"That's it" the arm says and keeps on beating Phoebe. 'Special' runs to the living room with the arm in tow. Now the Phoebenator's mad hear her bitch.

"No more!" Phoebe grabs her un-obedient arm with her right hand and she shoves it underneath the couch cushions and sits on it. Only it's not the only thing she's sitting one. Phoebe's too 'special' to realize she's sitting on Kit and Kat. Oh no one of them isn't going to make it.

Stay tune.


	9. I’ll Swap Her For Her

A/N: Sorry ppl for the long wait. It has been more than a month since I last posted. I was forced by a certain cult to post my fic. SO there. If things seem off or anything I'm sure Kt will point them out and laugh at me. Don't worry folks.

A/N: Keep in mind this is a parody!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of any TV show except the furry ones excluding Kit. 

The Furry Ones in

****

I'll Swap Her For Her

"What is this moving under me?" The 'Special' One asks. Kit is freakin' terrified because her greatest fear has come true once again.

"Kat are you all right?" Kit asks her younger sister but receives nothing in response. Worried Kit tries to move her despite the difficulty of being underneath 'Special' ass. Still Kat has done nothing. 

Kit only does what anyone who is _desperate_ enough would do which is bite 'Special' in the ass. Poor Kit is never going to live that down.

"OW!" 'Special' screams as she finally gets her ass of the two furry ones. Kit lets go of her hold on Phoebe to make sure that Kat is ok. Sadly Kat is dead. That's right people dead! 

But before I get into that sad crap the heroic and beloved arm has ceased to kick Phoebe around instead the arm looks as if it is sleeping... 

"NO! Kat wake up," Kit tries and tries but nothing still. At this point Paige and Korn enter and see Kit by the lifeless Kat. Paige and Korn see the look on Kit's face and instantly they know Kat is gone and Phoebe the 'Special' one is at fault. 

"Oops I sat on her on accident." Phoebe says in an un-carrying manner and in shocked tone. 

Korn is pissed off and starts to kick the shit out of Phoebe. Paige soon joins Korn to kick Phoebe ass. Kit on the other hand doesn't want to touch 'Special' she's too grief stricken and feels that it is her fault that this all happened to her sister. 

"Aw you really do love me! All of this for me?" Said a voice. A voice that belonged to Kat! 

"Kat...how is- but you're dead! You're dead...right?" Kit stammers. 

At that both Paige Korn and 'Special' stop and stare at Kat.

"Duh," Kat exclaims.

"Kat you know you stay dead right," Paige tells her. Phoebe is bewilder because never in her life has she seen cats talking. This only adds to the fact that Phoebes' powers are lame and useless. 

"Yes and I can't stay long Mama Cat is calling," says Kat.

"Mama? But I don't see her!" Korn says.

"You aren't meant to see her Korn neither are you Kit. She says not to worry because she says I will be back. Enjoy your time with out me as much as you can my overbearing sisters," exclaims Kat.

"Wait Kat where are you going? You can't leave us, without you there are no Furry Ones!" Kit says as if those words would force Kat to stay.

" The Furry Ones will do fine without me. You don't need me as of yet," states Kat and continues to say "See yeah suckers, I'm going to the good place! Boy did I prove you wrong Korn!"

"Yes you did little sister... yes you did," Is all Korn manages to say before Kat is greeted by 'Mama Cat' and ascends upwards to the so-called 'good place'.

*** Somewhere on the other side of San Fran 

Kiwi looks in the Cat-Times, the kitty newspaper for all the magical cats in the city. (Sound familiar?) Kiwi is a bright cat and her favorite hobby is to see who died today! How um... fun? 

Nevertheless word travels fast when a magical cat dies so when Kiwi saw in bold print the words: Kat the Cat died, cause of death was smothered by a human ass. Right below a picture of Kat who is apparently drunk. 

Kiwi thought the word 'Cat' sounded familiar… 

*** At the Manor

Paige has told Piper about the furry ones but not why they are there. 'Special' hasn't a clue either so all is good.

At the funeral reception friends and former innocents pay their respects to that annoying cat, Kat. Guess who is also there! Well it is no one other than Kiwi. (This should sound freakin' familiar) 

" I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss," Kiwi says to both Kit and Korn as she lends out her paw for a friendly shake. 

As Korn grabs her paw she is struck by Kiwi as of someone she has already known. Of course Korn passes this off as being hungry and heads to get some food and a soda. Kit manages to make small talk with Kiwi and ask her how she found out about the funeral reception.

Kiwi replies that she has been a fan of the Furry Ones since they were first published in the Cat-Times. Kit still doesn't know what to think and tells Kiwi if she want to self serve her self some drinks. Kiwi takes the hint and goes.

Korn comes back with a soda and joins Kit and soon after they are greeted by the Charmed Ones. 

"What was all that about," asks the powerful witch of them all, Piper.

" Wait you saw what happened?" 

"Yes actually we all did we couldn't help but to ease drop," states Piper.

"What do you think I should do? I mean do we invite her to some food," questions Kit.

"I don't see why not," replies Paige.

So the remaining Furry Ones and Charmed Ones head over to Kiwi.

"I don't believe you told me your name?" Kiwi is shocked that the Furry Ones and the Charmed Ones are talking to her.

"My name is Kiwi and I feel as though I have some unknown connection with you and Korn."

"Excuse me but how is it you know our names," questions Korn being overprotective. Korn also receives stares from the rest the gang for being so inconsiderate. Well most of the gang stares except for 'Special' who's middle name is 'inconsiderate' and... Wait I can't go one the are too much middle names for 'Special'. 

"I read about you and your sister's in the newspaper," Kiwi replies uncertain if Korn will like her or eat her.

"I still don't understand why you are here," questions Korn in a scary kind a way.

"Excuse me I got to be going now," says Kiwi as she heads out the door.

Stay tuned and if you people are lucky I might post more in the next couple of days...or hours. 


	10. Crappy Fun Part 1

A/N: This crap is taking a lot more time than I originally thought it would. Oh well I'll finish one day...in the very distant future. 

A/N: Review away.

The New Furry Ones in

Crappy Fun (Part 1)

In the next two days things are running as normal as they could be...well not really. The arm is still hibernating, Kat is still dead and the rest of the group is debating whether or not they should look for Kiwi. 

"I was mean?"

" Yes Korn, looking at that poor feline as if you were going to snap her pretty head off would be considered mean in my book," Kit says.

"Well in my book it says I'm stupid for not going ahead with it."

"What are you two talking about? I don't see your books," says the nitwit, Phoebe, also known as 'special'.

"SHUT UP PHOEBE," both Kit and Korn screams.

Phoebe being yelled at by two cats runs to no one else than Cole for the billionth time. Suddenly out of nowhere Kat falls from the ceiling in a mist of blue orbs landing on her ass. Kit and Korn are shocked.

"Kat is that really you," questions Kit.

"Yes, I am your Cat lighter for here on out."

"Cat lighter? What the Fu-" 

"Whoa there, Korn chill for a moment and let me explain," says Kat. Kit slaps Kat who finally takes the hint that there ready to listen now.

"The Cat Elders gave me an offer that I was force to take because apparently the things I did in my life were going to send me to Cat Hell."

"Go figure," states Korn knowing all a long.

"Anyway I took the job as a Cat lighter so I can amend my past ways and plus I get cool powers this time. Also I'm now immortal and I have to guide the Furry ones and heal them at all cost."

"There is no Furry ones it all died with you, or have you forgotten?"

"Right you two don't know about Kiwi. Silly me."

"Kiwi? What does the furry ones have to do with her" questions Kit.

"First I need you two to promise me that you are not going to flip, ok?"

"We promise," says Kit.

"Good because Kiwi is our half sister-"

"WHAT," yells the flipped out Korn.

"Look um man this is hard I rather have Mom explain her hooker ways to you two."

"How dare you, Kat speak of mom like that-" Kit says only to be cut off by Kat.

"You talking about me here Kit, the screw up of the family and the one who should be in cat hell right about now."

"She does have a point Kit," reasons Korn for the first time.

"Fine we have to summon mom. Then after she explains this too us, we are going to have to look for Kiwi and drag her here."

"Wait we're going to have to fill in the Piper and Paige of our plans so they could help with finding Kiwi," says Kat.

As Korn was about to leave to inform the better of the Charmed ones Phoebe bumps into her. Kat quickly orbs out.

"There Cole you see those are the mean cats that yelled at me!"

Both Kit and Korn know how to act like innocent normal cat. They meow and stare at 'Special' and Cole.

"Phoebe, my whore, they don't look as if they could yell at you. Did you hear them meowing?"

"No Cole these cats are magical and the told me to shut up. Well kill them anyway."

"Sure thing Freebee." Suddenly Cole is stopped in his place almost as if he is paralyzed from the neck down. 

"Don't you dare touch those cats," says the all-powerful Piper (yay!) accompanied by Paige " I can't believe you Phoebe, haven't those cats been through enough especially since you killed their sister!"

"Piper, Paige, they yelled at me."

"Phoebe I could care less! And you Cole get the hell out of my house you, home wrecker," says Paige with great fury. She looks as if she could ORB him to death.

"But, but Piper."

"Phoebe I'm losing my patience with you more and more as the days pass. All you care about is yourself call me when you found the Phoebe I felt was the most unselfish person from three years ago." 

"BURN," says Paige as she picks up Kit and Korn and follows Piper to the Kitchen.


	11. Crappy Fun Part 2

A/N: It's been so long since I wrote about this sucker. Blame my other side projects. 

A/N: 'Special' Thanks to those that read my stories. And... Super 'Special' thanks to those that review!

A/N: Wotcha, yes Korn was suppose to die but the beautiful thing is I'm not Brad Kern! Kat had it coming. 

A/N: Ignore my spelling and grammar etc. I suck at that.

A/N: One day I will finish it. Not anytime soon though.

****

Summary of the Last Chapter: Kit and Korn hear from their Cat lighter/Sister Kat that Kiwi is their half sister. Phoebe tried to send Cole to kill Kit and Korn b/c they yelled at her only to have Piper and Paige save them. Now Kit and Korn are going to summon their mother to get the info on Kiwi. 

The New Furry Ones in

Crappy Fun (Part 2)

"You think this'll work," asked Paige. The better of the Charmed and Furry ones standing in the attic.

"It has to otherwise we are left thinking Kiwi isn't our sis," Kit said as she placed the last birthday candle in the circle. 

"Here she comes," said Korn. Within seconds comes a lovely girl cat that can look as Kit's twin, this Cat was Mom Cat.

"Hello my darlings, Kat has told me that you know what I know."

"Yes, so does that mean it's true?"

"Kiwi is your sister Korn and Kit. I hope you'll forgive me but yes I had Kiwi and had to give her up to a Cat lady. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner." 

"Well duh now I have to apologize to that half-breed!."

"Korn that half-breed is our sister."

"No shit!!!" (A/N: Oh that Korn!)

***

Downstairs awaking from slumber is The Arm. Dun Dun DUN. 

The Arm slow flexes it's fingers then points one straight out. Phoebe slinked into the living room because she forgot how to walk. As she walks by she sees her hand pointing the middle finger at her. Using her other arm phoebe being 'special' points her thumb at her disobedient arm.

Angered by such a lame attempt to insult the arm flies to Phoebe smacking her in the head and then pushing her through the wall. Phoebe dazed talks about how the business with the brothel is going.

The Arm satisfied goes to the kitchen to try on the mittens because it feels a bit chilly.

***

"Korn how dare you speak to Kit that way"

"I think you dead mother of mine are not in the position to tell me what to do since obviously you get around."

"Korn quit being such an ass." Kit yells. 

"Ok."

"Well that was um unexpected," chimes Paige.

"Paige please. Cats having a family dispute in our house is unexpected and thought impossible to happen," Piper says as she rubs her head as if to put off the on coming head ache.

"Look Korn I know you may hate me a bit now but please put your feelings about me aside and find your sister. Kat will come back and guide you and Kit to find her."

"Fine I will find my sister but if she turns out to be anything remotely like Kat I'm returning her and I want a refund."

"Don't worry Korn she'll grow on you. If anything she's like you twin."

"Oh dear sweet Felix another Korn? Why me WHY ME," Yells Kit.

"Well I always said the world could use another me," states Korn.

"Maybe the world isn't ready for another of you Korn..."

"Oh it is!" On that note Kit, Korn and the rest of the gang say fair well to Mom Cat. 

After Mom Cat goes 'Up there' a loud noise is heard. The whole gang g runs down the stair to see Phoebe lying on the floor right below a man made hole in the wall. 

"My Brothel is a little slow this year. I hope business will go up when I write my articles. I could use the Money for my selfish ways, and me" says 'special' in her horrible child voice of hers.

"Phoebe what happened to you," questioned Piper as she pokes Phoebe with a stick. Good Piper it's always good to play it safe when it comes to 'Special'.

"My Arm it attack me.. It hit my pretty face and then it pushed me through the wall. That stupid arm I'll send Cole after it."

"Wait the arm that killed Kat," asks Korn getting annoyed by 'Special' child voice.

"That Cat just talked!" Oh who said they denied that 'Special' was 'Special'? That's right no one because we all know the truth.

"Very good Phoebe you just proven yourself really 'Special'!" Paige feeds Phoebe fish heads as a reward. Phoebe gobbles it up in one mouth full.

"I'm 'Special'!" Indeed you are 'Special' at least enough to talk with your mouth full of fish heads.

"Phoebe close your mouth!" Thank you Piper and you proper, responsible etc ways.

Suddenly a large noise is heard from the kitchen that could only mean The Arm.

The gang excluding phoebe goes to the kitchen. Phoebe being well Phoebe goes to the bathroom to see where all the noise is coming from.

In the kitchen we see the Arm wearing a mitten at the kitchen table. The gang for a moment sees how adorable the Arm looks and in union everyone says "Awwwwwww." 

The Arm startled by the noise jumps up and the mitten goes flying off. Angered the Arm grunts and moans like a dog not liking the noise. Everyone holds their breath as they prepare themselves for the Arm potential move. 

The Arm flies off to get a huge random mallet. It returns to whack Korn and Paige in the head real good. Piper and Kit manage to escape the wrath of the Arm. 

Paige orbs the arm to the wall causing the mallet to fly off and hit her. Paige being thick headed and stubborn shrugs off the pain to put the mitten back on the Arm. 

The Arm is now happy and goes back to looking un-harmful and adorable. The gang immediate says "Awwww" softly not to disturb the Arm.

Paige, Piper, Korn and Kit head out back to the living room to discuss how to approach Kiwi.


End file.
